I'm not a masochist but,
I love how it feels when everything hits you.
How the waves crashes onto the breakwater.
Savaging, trying to swallow you.
Yet, they recede reiterating their actions.
Or how the cool breeze reminds me of warmth.
The gentle light reflects off the full moon,
Portraying deformed figures
and reminding us how big the world is.
I miss taking night walks with my beloved iPod,
I miss it more if when I think about my aunt.
Hidden family secrets revealed,
Adding a little bit more drama into my life,
Not like my life is banal.
I have a mum who's alive despite everything,
I'm of a unique race,
I have an awesome bestfriend,
A bunch of amazing friends,
A lovely guy,
What more could I ask for?
Yet, I wish I could just sit and watch the sea,
Watch it til time freezes,
Watch it and pretend I'm not alone,
Watch it and thank God I'm alive.
There are many things we take for granted,
And, there are many more things we yearn for,
But what if,
In our previous life,
We yearned for where we are today.
I want my Mum to be able to walk again,
But, there's someone out there who wants their Mum back.
I should at least be genuinely glad she's alive,
Because if she wasn't,
I'll be praying and begging for her to come back.
Heh? Do I make sense? I think I do.
Anyways, now I wonder what dying would be like,
We're all gonna die one day,
but personally, for that last few seconds,
I'll rather be smiling than regretting.
Okay, that was deep -.- Was just thinking about somethings and I really do miss walking along the night beach alone. Maybe I'll do so tomorrow night. Sigh, today's mugging idea totally failed. I woke up in the morning ready to do POA only to retreat back into snuggling my blanket lol. And then I started talking to my Mum, Bro and Sis about our end year plan. Going back to Indonesia to redo our passports. Sigh, Jeff and I tried persuading her to let us home a week early but no~ She wants to go back to the village -.- Boosha!
I don't wanna go but she keeps insisting we visit our so-called relatives. Sigh, but she did say the guy who took care of her when she was little was sick so I guess she really wants to see him again. If he's gonna kick the bucket, I guess this is the least I could do for them. Oh, at least I'll be able to see the small lake thing I used to bathe in as a kid :P And my second cousins.
And catch roosters, pigs, cows... yeah, I wouldn't. Too gross :/ Oh! And I'll be able to bring home cocoa :D Provided my Dad lets me. Meh, that's practically what I'll be doing there.
I think however, I'm gonna bring make-up and look unfriendly so no one would approach me. I hate people speaking to me in Indonesian, except for Matthew, he's an exception.
Oh oh, and since I'll have nothing to do and probably limited internet excess (Wah! ): ) I shall go to spas and nail parlors etc etc cause it's cheeeeeap! :D Mum wants to stay at a hotel this time sooooo~ Hopefully they'll have good parlors (: If not then I guess I could go back to that big hotel instead. Cheap, long and good ;D
I'm looking forward to it (Well, partially) but I also don't wanna leave. Must make sure they don't book it during Grad-night or something or I'll totally freak ): Grad-night is a must go!
Neways, I needa do stuff... Goodnight (:
